I was trying to acquire some more information about who exactly I am. I am a Sagittarian and, in an attempt to clarify matters, I wrote the following pieces of verse;
pardon, may I career into your parlour?
excuse me, I am only half a horse
so will you wipe up after my hoofprints
dustpan and brush your way after my hoofprints
hoover up the (ahem) unfortunate leavings?
and, oh Mrs Domestic with the face and body of a South Sea
having emptied the dustbins and dimmed the lights
switched on the waste disposal unit and put the flowers
out of the sunlight, and drawn the muslin curtains,
may I be party to your Hawaiian ecstasy
prancing about but within reason?
may I be privy to graze in a meadow hard by your paddock?
I promise not to gallop or kick up too much dust
or make a mess on the lawn or scuffle up the flowerbeds
and I promise not to break many of the china cups
or drink up all the tea.
may I come into your bed?
Oh I know that this is rather sudden and
I know I have four legs
and that some people would say that’s four too many
but I can fold them up under me
and my hooves aren’t that sharp!
and I know I have a whisking tail
which whisks about and sometimes knocks things over
but in my opinion it could be actually useful
really quite useful for
wiping off dusty marks that we don’t like to see
on the furniture
that sort of thing,
and forget what I mentioned that bit about coming to your
I got carried away
I didn’t mean it
(I am harmless
O so truly harmless)
and Mrs Domestic
you who have Klene-Eze brushes for eyebrows
for softly gazing eyeballs
cleansing soap in your veins and arteries
and whose body is lithe and warm like a South Sea siren’s
may I career into your tastefully furnished parlour?
I promise not to gallop or take my saddle or bridle off.
excuse me but I really am only
half a horse.
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